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Thursday, February 18, 2010

It's funny to see you now

It doesn't bother me like everyone says it should.

I though that it would hurt, because I truly thought that you never would.
Since when was it okay?
To just pack up and leave one day.
Your only reason was that you were tired. You said you couldn't take it anymore
So you chose to leave your family behind for your ugly little whore.

With her you won't have it.
You know, that life you gave away.
A wife that was by your side no matter what happened,
A son that wanted nothing but your devotion and approval.
A daughter that thought you could do no wrong...

Well, you proved me wrong now didn't you?
You did wrong when you walked up and told us it was through.
That day you told my brother and I that it was nice outside,
We should go out and enjoy a ride.
But little did we know what was waiting in store...
When the two of us walked back through that door...

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Henna





So yeah, during this last summer I became addicted to Henna. It is a wonderful thing that, when done in the right way with the natural Henna, can create beautiful art. These are he few things that I have done. The first one was done a long tie ago and the last three all go together in one design that I did on my hand.



Thursday, January 28, 2010

ABDC South picks!

SWAGGER CREW WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

You guys were so amazing! Kentrell we were screaming for y'all the entire time you were dancing. I knew you were an amazing dancer and you guys can go all the way. And the girl in the crew is absolute beast! The six of you were the best group on there and we will always be here supporting you! I hope to maybe get to one of the shows to watch it live!

GOOD LUCK SC! DON'T STOP 'TILL YOU GET IT DONE!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

This I Told Them. Come. Missing. Closing.

This song is a collaboration of the songs This Close, And I Told Them I Invented Times New Roman, Come Round Soon, Missing, and Closing In. These songs were mushed together in my head, in a never ending repetitive cycle. It is sad that it makes logical sense and would make a pretty good song.


This I Told Them. Come. Missing. Closing.

Had a dream hat we were dead, but we pretended that we still lived
With no regrets we never bled
And we took everything life could give.
But now you know that I am cold.
And I am found.
I lay without understanding....
I don't know, why I feel this way...
Oh it looks like rain tonight, and thank God.
Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.
Something's missing in me.
I found it, deep within me!
Thus lovers, left me to bleed...
Alone.
Not once in life have I been real but I've never felt this close before.
Oh lay down girl, and take my world
I know why, I can't see your face.
And darling you are, the only exception.
And when I lifted up my hands to her,
She never lifted me.
Oh I may seem naive if I cry as you leave
Like I'm just one more tortured heart.
But baby don't be fooled...
Because these cracks that I show as I'm watching you go
Aren't tearing me apart.
Cause I know,
I'll see you soon....
I can't wait,
To be with you.
No I just can't sit still...
I'll be there babe.
It take's me back.
I remember, such a magical place....
It was all...
You....
I don't believe in lies.
I don't believe in lies.
I'd die for you.
12/9/09 Sydneys inner song

Monday, November 23, 2009

Part two of other story

A soft, dreamy sigh escaped the lips of the girl he was after. She was staring into the full length mirror in the bathroom on her hall. All she saw was her plain, ugly face. It wasn’t appealing to any of the people she had ever liked. Her eyes were the only thing on her face that really wasn’t average at all. No one she knew had those mist colored eyes, speckled with violet, except her father. It was true, she hated herself. Her face was ugly, her body not that of a, REAL, dancer. It was horrendous.

Not only that... She saw her parents. The face of her mother, framed with the exact same thick red hair. Those freckles, it reminded her so much of the woman that had died to show her daughter how much she cared. And those eyes... Those eyes... It was almost as if she had taken them right off of her fathers face and put them on her own. That was exactly why she hated the way she looked. She didn’t want to look like them. They deserted her.

With one last cold look at herself, she turned away for that mirror and walked back to her room, never suspecting a thing. Why should she though? How often did a man sneak into her room, with intentions of taking her away from everything she had ever known? She didn’t even bother to turn on the light as she went to her bed.

Her dreams closed in on her faster than they had ever before. Her body relaxed against the bed and her breathing evened. The dream world that she lived in was almost normally consisted of things that happened in everyday life, nothing out of the ordinary like some. Tonight, it was a nightmare about the worst thing that had happened in her life so far, but her sleep was so deep that this time, she couldn’t make herself wake up.

And so, Caroline was forced to relive it....

______________________________________________________________________


“Mommy where are we going now?” A tiny little red haired girl asked the woman in the front passenger seat.

“Home. It’s about time seeing as we haven’t been back there for a while. Staying at grandma’s was fun though! Wasn’t it? You played all day everyday Caroline! Sooo much energy!” The woman leaned over and tickled the younger Caroline.

-No... No we aren’t... Mom don’t go home please don’t! Dad turn the car around! Please!- The cries of her mind weren’t heard and Caroline’s dream continued on the way it always did.

“Sweetie do you want to stop on the way home?” Her father looked up in the rear view mirror at her with the same misty eyes that she had. The little girl shook her thick curls and she bounced slightly in her seat. “Daddy lets just go home!” Caroline couldn’t help but stare at her parents, the perfect picture of a loving couple.

“Alan we should just take her home.” Her mother said. Alan, her father, turned his head slightly, letting his shaggy, dark black hair swish out of his eyes. His skin and hair made his eyes stand out even more. The fact that he had that deep tan skin and rusty voice was the reason that Caroline’s mother had fallen in love with him in the first place. “Oh alright Marielyn. To home we go.” He sighed and pouted his thick lips.

Marielyn smiled contently. “Thanks hun.” She laced her finger with the ones on his free hand. Her eyes were an energetic, laughing green. Those thick, wild red curls that framed that heart-shaped face, we the same as the curls that her daughter Caroline had. The thick, Irish accent was obvious on her soft voice.

“Mommy I’m tired...” Little Caroline whispered, not realizing that this was going to be one of the last things that she ever said to her parents. “Then go to sleep my baby bird. I will wake you up when we get home.” Her father let go of his wife’s hand for a moment or two just to kiss his fingertips and pat her head gently. “Love you sweet heart. Pleasant dreams.” They said at the same time. After a slight yawn she answered with a muffled, “I love you too.”

Suddenly she was jerked back to reality to witness the last few seconds of her parent’s lives. They held each other as the car flipped, landing on it’s nose in the ditch.

______________________________________________________________________



All the while that she was dreaming the man crouched in the corner watched her. God she was so beautiful.... After a few moments of that, he moved from the corner to her bedside. Breathing slowly, he reached out his hand and touched her shoulder lightly. When she didn’t react he smiled and let his hand trail softly down her arm. He slid his arms under her body, wrapping it up in a blanket as he pulled her close to his body. He sighed happily, loving the feeling of finally holding her. Her. The woman that he dreamed so much about, the one that he had been so undeniably obsessed with, and still was.

There was no other way to describe how he felt other than cherishing. He was cherishing the moments that he had her close to his body. Her weight wasn’t even a bother to him so he didn’t falter as they slid towards the ground. Soon enough though, his sleeping beauty twisted slightly, shocked by the sudden cold that she now felt.

Jerit didn’t notice that as he placed her in the backseat of his car. Thats when Caroline was starting to wake up. The blonde male was far too elated to realize it. I finally have her! Her... My Caroline... I can’t believe it...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Midnight

Midnight comes, followed closely by the barking of dogs, but hushed again by a shot gun fire. All that is left is the sound of the wind, both kind and unrelenting. Yet there they are, untouched by the gusts that bend even the oldest of trees. How is it that they are so perfect? No man could touch them or match their startling beauty. They are old as the night itself, yet young as a new borns first breath. They are everything we wish to be, and everything we are. Shining brightly, we are so blessed by the universe that allows us to see such things, when most of the time they don't show themselves. We are the lucky few to witness this tonight. A harvest moon, huge and red, would perfect this night, but a bright, white moon is enough. It's casting the purist of lights down on to our twisted world.
I know there are others viewing this. Others that are just as broken as I am. These people are the ones that are seeking a clear mind so they might be able to think straight for a few moments without the wondering of what it would be like to not survive a game of Russian Roulette. Nights like this are stirring enough to quell our troubled minds.
Again sounds fill the air, but this time it comes from my speakers. And in my mind I notice the song push out all of the other thoughts so it is clear. Then, I hear something else... The sound of other lost souls singing with me, wishing away the oncoming rain so that we could watch the beautiful stars dance more. But still the clouds finish filling in, hiding the shining wonders from sight. Along with them comes the rain, which falls like tears from the sky. Sure there are amazing things to be seen when it rains, but I am not going to search for them now. Maybe some other time, but right now, all I want is to watch the stars. Since they are gone now, I think I will go back inside until they return again and the rain has gone.

Wind

He is like the wind to me,
The very air I breathe,
The songs that are carried on the breeze,
Whispers tunes and plays with my hair.
He blows the clouds away,
Bringing the bright beauty and warmth of the sun,
No matter how dark my day.
Gusts that pull me along with them,
Moving towards the light so my day is never dim,
He is also wild like the wind during a storm,
Raging on until he finds the one thing to stop him.
Unstoppable once he truly has his mind set on something.
Powerful enough to sweep you off your feet,
And my heart is his to keep.
He calms me like the wind cools a hot summer day,
He is truly the wing of relief, and it's blowing my way.

He has seen my at my worst,
Broken down, ugly and hurt
Mostly I feel as if I have been broken so badly that I have no hope,
He mends the pieces of me and helps me cope.
The darkness and pain I have seen,
Have caused me to lock away the best part of myself behind a shrouded screen,
At times, it feels as if it is all I can do not to scream,
He has pulled me apart at the seams,
And seen that part I try so desperately to hide.
Yet still he is not afraid to look inside...

I cannot fathom what I have done.
Nothing comes to mind that makes me deserve this kind of love.
As my english teacher says,
We all have an Ultimate Boon.
Mine has eyes that contain a beauty like the moon.